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A letter from a mother to neonatologists


kbarrington

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From the blogger Alison Epps, a mother of an extremely preterm boy, who writes at the blog 22w6d. This is a letter which she has written to neonatologists everywhere, and which she gave me permission to copy from her blog. On her blog, beneath the letter, there are also before and after photos of her son James at the age of 4 1/2.

 

Dear NICU Doctor,

 

I’m writing to you with utmost respect and admiration for what you do. In my eyes you are a hero. Doctors like you saved the life of my son against seemingly insurmountable odds. I hope you will take a moment to read this letter and look over the information included. It is important.

 

I am writing to you as a mom; A mom of a very special little boy born at 22 weeks 6 days gestation. My son James weighed 44o grams and was 10.5 inches long when he was born. Doctors attempted life-saving measures on James because of an error made by my OBGYN when I was admitted to the hospital, five days prior to his birth. A simple error that stated on Monday, August 2 he would be 23 weeks gestation. I was to receive my first steroid shot and first 20 minute heart rate monitoring, thankfully, one day early. James was delivered due to severe heart rate decelerations that became worse as the day progressed. Had his heart rate not been monitored one day early, he likely would have passed during the night.

Like most hospitals, Baylor University Medical Center, where James was born, has policies in place regarding when life saving measures are attempted with micro-preemies. At the time of James’ birth they did not attempt life saving measure prior to 23 weeks gestation. Between 23 and 25 weeks gestation they attempt life saving measures only at the family’s request. At 25 weeks gestation they always attempt life saving measures.

 

James did not fit their policies. Had they known his actual gestational age, that one day would have made the difference between a chance at life and certain death. One day.

 

A friend of mine has said, quite often, “I think he was 23 weeks, or even 23 weeks and a few days.” She might be right. As you know, gestational age is not an exact science. Errors exist on both sides, but very few hospitals take that in to account when determining, what they believe to be, viability.

 

James will be five this summer. He is an amazing little boy who spreads joy everywhere he goes. He is smart, really smart! He can count higher than 800 and knows his alphabet forward and backward. He even knows how to read quite a few words. He is full of energy and runs everywhere he goes. James loves life, and we cannot imagine our lives without him.

I write about James and tell his story to anyone who will listen. I do that because I’ve met too many families who were in our exact situation, but no life saving measures were attempted. I’ve met families who wonder, “What if?” What if their baby was given the chance James was given.

 

I know we are biased. We have a good outcome. I can’t imagine the agony you’ve witnessed and the pain some babies go through only to lose their lives anyway. I know that exists. I’m asking you to remember that the other side exists too. Please consider the fact that babies born under 23 weeks gestation have survived and thrived. When making decisions about a chance at life or certain death, please be mindful that gestational age is not an exact science. I’m respectfully asking you to take all of this into consideration, as well as the wishes of the family, when you’re making life and death decisions.

This is important to me. I’m only writing to you after much thought and discussion about this issue. I am certain you have thought about this before, and I truly hope you will consider it again. I’ve included a brief medical history of my son for your review. I am very willing to provide additional medical documents at your request. I’ve also included a brief medical history written by a mom whose baby wasn’t given life saving measures. These are the moms who contact me and want to know more about James.

 

I will be glad to answer any questions you might have or provide further information. Thank you for your time and for your thoughtful consideration of viability under 23 weeks gestation.

Sincerely,

Alison Epps

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